420 ftw
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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