I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
