ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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