My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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