Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
