New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
