Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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