What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Randomize