He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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