I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
