You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
