fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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