I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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