haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize