the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
