I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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