Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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