All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
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She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
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Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"