Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She has the best kind of daddy issues