Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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