things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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