Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
