Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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