Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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