Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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