I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
