is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
