I'm going to jail i love you
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
