P.S. I can't hear my feet
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
