Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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