beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
