how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
