Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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