You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
