We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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