New low: just hacked my moms facebook
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dignity is for republicans.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
