i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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