forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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