and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
