Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize