physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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