butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Terrible idea I love it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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