The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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