Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
