I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize
