no. you can't hotbox the world.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
