i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
this hospital has no fireball
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
