Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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