Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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