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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
