He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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