I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
