I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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