just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
