Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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