Farmville is her only friend.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize