I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am midnight drunk by noon
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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