and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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