Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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