just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize