I'm gonna have a badass scar
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
