apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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