she looked like the bat from fern gully.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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