Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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